I realize I didn't really do a good job on keeping an updated blog this season. But just to be real, it is because this was one of the hardest seasons for me personally.
While I have so much to be thankful for, this season just flat out kicked my butt. Living overseas finally started taking a huge toll on me and it was just a difficult time for me.
The first part of the season was completely as normal. Of course I missed home and family as usual but nothing more so than what I am used to going through. I knew that we were going to be able to go home after Christmas and for the first time in Tyler's career, he was going to get to come home too. I was over the moon and so excited for our time home. It gave me something to look forward to.
Tyler was able to be home for a week and Carter and I stayed a couple of extra weeks before heading back to France. I was super bummed to be leaving home but I thought that after a week or so back in France, it would wear off and I would be fine again.
That wasn't the case at all.
The last three months have been a huge struggle for me and although it's hard to admit that, it's honest.
In a way, I almost think our trip home triggered all of this. That was the first time in SEVEN YEARS we had been home in the winter together. I kept saying to Tyler while we were back, "this is so weird being home right now". Seeing snow and Christmas lights is something we do not see when we are home during the summer. It was like an alternate world and I got a glimpse of what a normal life would be like once we are back in the States permanently. This may sound bizarre to most of you reading this, but living overseas has made me crave a normal life more than ever. I want to be in Minnesota, in our house, cook dinner while Carter plays in the living room. I want to take Carter trick or treating and spend Thanksgiving with family eating way too much food. I want to plan a weekend trip with girlfriends or go to a football game with Tyler. I want to go to Target and drink a coffee while I spend way too much time and money there. I want to wake up in my own bed every single morning. I want to see our family and friends more than three months out of the year. I want to go to the store and understand what people are saying around me. I want to be able to stop fitting my life into 2 suitcases to live out of for 8 months.
I want a normal life.
I think everything finally just hit me and I realized how much I truly miss life in the USA. It sucks not seeing your family and friends for so long. And it sucks leaving your life behind at the end of every summer.
I'm not trying to complain because we still have an incredible life. I am so thankful that I get to spend as much time as I do with Tyler and Carter. It is a huge blessing that I get to stay home with Carter and I absolutely love it. I feel a little selfish feeling this way. The grass is always greener, right?
Carter and I are back in the US now and Tyler will be back in a couple weeks. I honestly just want to put this season behind me and move forward. I know Tyler's career is not finished nor do I want it to be. I know that we will eventually be heading back overseas and I am hoping that my mentality will be a little better come next season. I am trusting in God every day that He has us where He wants us. I know He will help me through this difficult time that I am going through.
I know this post was a little personal, but i wanted to share it. It's not always easy living overseas.
